17 Reasons to Vote for Bush

Things you absolutely have to believe to vote for Bush in November


1) Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

2) Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
harmony.

3) The US should get out of the UN and our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4) A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

5) Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton.

6) The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops
in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7) If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8) A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9) Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.

10) HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the

> >>public at heart.

11) Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science,
but creationism should be taught in schools.

12) A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

13) Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which includes banning gay marriage and censoring the Internet.

14) The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,
but Bush's driving record is none of our business.

15) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need
our prayers for your recovery.

16) You support states' rights, which means Atty Gen John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

17) What college student Bill Clinton did in the 60s is of vital national interest, but what college student George Bush did in the
80's is irrelevant.


Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with George Bush for 4 more years.



"Friends don't let friends vote for Bush."